[Note: The following text was found in a corner of the breeding pen, soaked in buck urine and tears, obviously penned by our very own X Factor after 2 days of being out in the yard with the girls.]

Topaz wants nothing to do with me now. We had a great time for 2 days and now it’s like no matter what I do she ignores me. I stood outside her house all John Cusack-like with the boombox of my manly voice, singing of my need for her, but she flounced off to eat hay like everything we had was a lie. I even peed on my face and showed her how amazing I smell. Nothing. It’s like I’m just somebody that she used to know. I saw that little brat of hers eyeballing me while she was trying to get some milk this morning, too. If you’re big enough to eyeball your mom’s boyfriend, you’re too big to still be nursing. Good grief. Remind me not to date any more single moms.

Just when I decided to amble off alone into the wilderness to lick my wounds, Tempest came up. Okay, so maybe we had a quick thing yesterday for like 10 seconds but this girl acts like she’s about to boil a bunny if I don’t give her some attention. I stood still and tried to ignore her but she kept trying to do the lambada on me or something. She smells really good too. Okay…I figured I could use Tempest to make Topaz jealous but it turns out that apparently there’s some kind of drama over Tempest being a grain hog or something and they aren’t friends. Whatever. Maybe Tempest can heal my broken heart. Wait, where’d she go?